Sunday, February 27, 2005

Make it New?

Today while perusing the online edition of the Toronto Star, I came across this article. In it there is a discussion of the modern world and architectural ideas. How avant-garde are we when we reference a prolific author such as Ayn Rand?
~The notion of the designer as god-like creator reached a peak with Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead. That's the novel in which architect Howard Roark blows up his own building rather than see it compromised.

This is just one of those articles that demonstrates that everything comes around full circle. In case anyone is interested, here is the Ayn Rand Institute link for further exploration. My personal favourites are: Anthem, We The Living, The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged, Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal, Philosophy: Who Needs It?, and The Virtue of Selfishness, just to name a few.

Yet one more...Dali

Soft Construction with Boiled Beans: Premonition of Civil War Posted by Hello

Dali Revisited

Geopoliticus Child Watching the Birth of the New Man Posted by Hello

Dali Mania

Autumn Cannibalism Posted by Hello

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Crash and Burn

Another assigned reading, another mind-renewing experience. For those who do not know, I'm taking a Post-Modernism taught by Bruce Powe. I've always had the books on this course's reading list in mind for reading, but unfortunately, never had the chance to explore them. Now, for the first time, I truly appreciate the nature of these questionable and sexually explicit works.

I should perhaps clarify that previous point, I knew the spin that society had put on these books, but I never have let that stop me from reading a book. Rather, it is how I was inspired to read Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses. Furthermore, "society" of late is de-evolving into a puritan-fetish-state. As Jeremy noted, the banning of Shrek 2, because of two minor transsexual incidents, really demonstrates that society is itself its own monster.

Now, away from my little society-based tangent, and back to the topic at hand. Next week's assigned reading is J.G. Ballard's Crash. I happened to buy it today at the bookstore, and in about a two-hour span, I completed reading the novel. All at once, it reminded me of Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer - a quiet insertion of an author into a space of fantasy-induced reality. The persona of Ballard in the text does not actually exist as a character until the accident occurs. It reminds me that in some way, all of us have our perverse fantasies of death and sexuality. Ballard's book brought out that the melding of sex and machine is a truly deadly combination. Initially, it brought to my mind a scene from Neil Gaiman's American Gods. I know that this book was written only a few years ago, but it shows the syllogism of sex and the speed, impact and brute force that a vehicle can create has not died in modern culture. I am aware that Crash has been made into a movie, but the haunting and primordial language of the book is an image itself.
The book also awakened a feeling of startling deja-vu. The way that Vaughan fantasizes about the death of Elizabeth Taylor brought to mind the death of Princess Diana. The life and death of the famous is crystallized through pictures, much as Vaughan's fetish with the scars induced by crashes.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Wednesday Night/ Thursday Morning

Tonight was another night of singing classes, which I am enjoying very much. Perhaps in the next few weeks I will muster up the courage to sing solo.

I'm doing my readings tonight, with the hope that I will progress in my understanding of the Synoptic gospels and problems. I figure that if I start my reading today, I will have covered all the necessary material by next week Friday, when I have my major test.

Other than reading the Synoptics (Mark, Matthew and Luke) and John, I have to read The Synoptic Problem by Mark Goodacre. All of this means that the next week and a half will be designated learning time for this material. I just hope that my mind understand it all before then.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Today is the DAY!

This is an extra-special day for me, and only one other person knows the reason why!

AutoShow 2005

The AutoShow of 2005 in a word: crappy. There were not as many cars as last year, and generally speaking, nothing too fantastic. This year I made the trip with my brother, his friend, my uncle and Dave. Between the five of us, there were four cellular phones. That really shows what kind of society we exist in.

Anyhow, I saw some cars that I liked, sat in a few more, and was offered a test drive in another. Other than all of that, we went through the three buildings in under 3 hours. Usually, this same trip takes nearly 5 or 6 hours. The crowds weren't all that heavy today either. Perhaps it is because it now cost $20 per person to enter. Luckily for us, my uncle had received a few free tickets, so we didn't have to pay the exorbitant rate.

All in all, it was a good day out, but the weather on the way home was awful. A drive that usually takes about 25-30 minutes in good weather took us about an hour to complete. That's just a Canadian winter for you, eh?

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Saturday Night At the Movies

Tonight, Saturday night, after spending the afternoon at church, my mother and I sat down to a night of movie watching. We have made it almost a routine now, watching movies on TVO on Saturday nights.

The features tonight were The Third Man and Our Man in Havana. Both of these were originally written by Graham Greene and the screenplays were done execeptionally well.

I suppose I have nothing to complain about tonight, so I'll leave it at that. Goodnight all.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Summer Vacation 2004

Heading Towards the Fisherman's Bastion 2004 Posted by Hello
As promised, here is another one of our numerous pictures from Europe last summer. This picture is a view of the Fisherman's Bastion as we approached it. Picture was taken courtesy of my cousin.

My Mind is Driven by Sexuality

Well, tonight I found a quiz based on the infamous inkblots. Surprise, surprise, my mind is driven by sexuality. Here are the conclusive results:

The world is a sexy place for you — your erotic self leads the way. Whether this is because you're presently in a great physical relationship or simply want one, you are much more aware of the sexual undertones in situations than most people.

This heightened focus, coupled with your vivid imagination, can make you more likely to have original — at times risqué — interpretations of things that other people might see as innocuous.

Your subconscious is telling you that you are very much alive, and have a great deal of passion to bring to life.

Friday, February 18, 2005

The Namesake and Inspiration for this Blog

Vixen (Vixey) "The Fox and the Hound" Posted by Hello
I'm sure some people have wondered why this blog has this name. In the past, I've gone by other nicknames, but I guess I've always been a Vixen of sorts. Here is the reason for the name of the blog: a drawing I did about 13 years ago. For those of you who know how old I am, you can do the math.

It's been one of those days

Today, as it draws near to the end of my reading week, I spent a day not actually doing school work. Now I know what happens if I venture out of my room during the early morning hours.

First I went out driving, dropped my mother off at the mall, then my father and I went to do some shopping. Once we got home, I was enlisted to make dinner, do the laundry and wash dishes. It seems as though this lasted the majority of my day.

At 6pm I settled down for a nap, and for once, there were no phones ringing or people knocking at our front door to wake me up. I slept for almost two hours, got up, ate dinner (for the second time), did more dishes, and I think, I can actually go back to my school work now that it is almost 10pm.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Ballerina Belle

2001 Posted by Hello

Sing-a-long Night

Tonight was my night to sing. Perhaps I should clarify on that point. I have signed up for an eight week course on group singing. So far I've only done two classes, but it is quite enjoyable.

Tonight we did some warm-up exercises and also sang a few songs. Our teacher, Dyanne is a professional singer who also teaches lessons. Maybe, if it isn't too costly afterwards, I may pursue that avenue: private lessons. Right now I'm still a little hesitant of my voice, this is why I haven't taken the opportunity for a solo performance. I've never really thought that I had a good voice, until some of my family encouraged me to sing. So, I will practice, and perhaps even get better.

On a similar note, I picked up my flute today. I am a bit rusty of course, I could never play all that well, but I will try it again. I love music, and I've missed the various elements that I was involved in when I was younger. I think this may be my chance to shine, or maybe sing?

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Rainy Rainy Rainy

Wouldn't you know it? Reading week begins with rain, and it doesn't seem to stop. I never really believed in pathetic fallacy in real life, but here it seems to be.

The weather is really matching my mood of late, which is dismal, to say the least. I'm struggling through this tail end of the school year, having already dropped one class and trying to figure out what I'm going to do for the coming year.

I have assignments due for all of my classes, within weeks of returning to school, and then again, final exams are looming in April. I don't know if I enjoy the end of a school year as much as I like being within it. The end of the year just heralds more sleepless nights and hopefully this time around I can stave off any sickness.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Guilty: Judge, Jury & Executioner

Well, this has been a peculiar Valentine's Day for me. I can't say that it was one of the best I've had. I spent until 5:00am finishing an essay that should have been handed in last Thursday or Friday. Those who know the extenuating circumstances I've been under for the last while will know what caused this essay tardiness.

Other than that, I got roses from Dave which were very much appreciated. Hope everyone had a good day today!

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Valentine's Day Approaches

The most intriguing day of the year approaches: Valentine's Day. Is it really the celebration of St. Valentine now, or merely another reason for fattening gifts and flowers?

I've decided to be sentimental, not cynical for a change. Here's something from a few years ago.

You were something different,
A long time ago.
You were just a friend,
A companion, someone to talk with.

You were special to me then,
Although there was no way you could know.
You were more than just a friend to me,
But that was so long ago.

You became dearer to me,
Until by chance it seemed,
You asked me to a dance,
Without even knowing how I felt.

You learned more about me,
About what I had gone through.
You saw what others had done,
To make me the person I was.

You began to understand,
How to love me for what I was.
You learned that what I valued,
Wasn’t material possessions.

You saw through my mask,
And even dared to care.
You became the world to me,
Because you were always there.

And yes, I do have a sentimental side about me, even though some people don't think so.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Creative Portion: Essay

The essence of this noise is the downbeat of __________. Blankness is blanketed with a hum of ________. Teach me that _________is pure and translucent, although veiled in noise.
I wanted to sing you a song of _________, didn’t you hear the words? Doesn’t it get more deafening as the ________ stagnates, reaching for its climax? What is this space? The _________ between the white walls of sanity.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Happy Belated Birthday!

This post should have been up yesterday, but due to the excessive amount of stress of late, it wasn't posted. Yesterday my little brother turned 16, and I can barely believe it. Wow, starting to feel...older...

After receiving an assortment of gifts yesterday, we went out to dinner tonight at the Outback Steakhouse. It was well worth it!

Tomorrow he is going for his G1 test and this makes me think that I'm slow and stupid, as I still have a G1 license myself. I will be going again for my test in May, and this time I will pass.
Anyhow, that's all for now. I think I'm going to get some sleep tonight.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Welcome to Babyland!

Baby me! approx. 7-9 months old Posted by Hello Interesting Day at that

Today was quite an interesting day, I did my modelling stint and also revealed some important facts to someone. The modelling went all right although apparently to most people 'Carib' equals 'Caribbean'. A brief history lesson for all those misinformed souls out there. The Carib and the Arawaks were the two indigineous tribes to the Caribbean region, before the arrival of the Europeans. The Caribs were a more war-like tribe than the Arawaks, but sadly both groups were practically annihilated by the invading Europeans. The term 'Caribbean' was based on the name of the Carib natives, and the region lives on with that name today.

On a secondary note, my revealing of certain information did not produce the result that I thought it would. For quite a while I was hesitant to tell anyone about what had happened, but early this morning, something snapped in me, and I felt compelled to reveal what was wrong. In all honesty, I was rather scared to tell anything about this, because it all looks like my fault. However, I was reassured that not every bad situation that I'm involved in is my fault, and I shouldn't feel guilty. I want to thank that person and remind them that I treasure them indefinitely. The support is far more encouraging than any words.

Monday, February 07, 2005

My Theory

Of course everyone can tell at this point that I am procrastinating on a number of more important topics. However, I was told that it was crucial that this theory was posted before it was forgotten. I will also invite anyone to add their suggestions for additions to this theory's list:

University as a Casino

1. You are enticed through the doors with the promise of large financial gains (entrance scholarships etc.).

2. Once you get in, you must pay in advance before you can use the facilities (enrollment fee and class costs).

3. You are not warned about excessive surcharges (interest against your account).

4. In classrooms there are frequently: no working clocks (so you cannot tell when to leave); doorknobs that fall off (so you are locked in); and most importantly those new security cameras (so you don't cheat, or steal things?)

5. Paying out a large amount of money does not guarantee you credits

6. There are no such things as "freebies" especially in terms of food (unless you know people, or you a privileged high-roller)

7. No matter how you fight, the administration is NOT in your favour

8. Once they get you in, you cannot stop spending (seems as though we have to buy books all year long!).
9. Staff who help, rather than deter, students in playing their cards right are disciplined for teaching them how to profit from the institution. (Dave's addition)

Happy Reading all!
Addendum: I will be modelling for the York U multicultural week tomorrow (Tuesday Feb 8) at 1:00pm. Anyone who wants to come out to support our multiculturalism, (mine in particular is: Carib, East Indian, Irish, and Hungarian) please feel free to.

A Note About this Blog of Late

I am well aware that in the last few days I've been doing the easy way out on this blog. I've been posting poems, which aren't all that good, but something to fill space. I don't know why I've been doing this so frequently, maybe they are just reflecting my crazy moods lately.

Here is one more poem that I feel is appropriate in this crazy world we live in.

Children of Colour

Children of Colour – What do you see?
Open your eyes, see the sun rise.
Live, Love, Sleep, Die –
I cry with you, I suffer and die with you.
My blood in this festering world,
My wound, it bleeds like yours.
Feed me is your cry…until you can cry no more.
Your hunger I feel – but cannot sate
“Thank you dear Lord for my daily bread…”
- I pray – glad for blessings – you may never see.
Brown, Black, White, Yellow, Red…
The colours in me.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

My Pen: My Mirror

I write therefore I think
I think therefore I write
Consciously, I am what you are not,
But yet you still judge me.
Would you like to spend a day in my life?
If you could, would you?
If you would, could you?
Do you know who you are,
When you look in the mirror?
Are you a mere reflection of what you wish to be?
Do you play a role,
Or are you truly real?
I’ve learned the age-old secret,
But I will never tell
Read between the lines,
The answer waits therein.
I write therefore I think
I think therefore I write

Saturday, February 05, 2005


Asleep one night, I had a dream,
The voice was calling to me…

“Break away from the obscenity of the world
Make a space
Far from the maddening crowd
Scream into the empty night
Fall into the void.
Red – the broken body, mutilated – the colour of passion
Green – eyes – JEALOUSY – lust for ME
Show love in a vast desert
Prove that it is a distorted scam
Break the mold, absolve the fantasy.”

“Wake up dear, it was all a dream.”


Well, it is now the end of the week and I have been quite lazy this week in terms of this blog. I know my last posting was on Tuesday, and since then, so much has continued to happen.

Since volunteering for my modelling stint at school, I've learned that my big day will be Tuesday next week during York's annual multicultural week. I don't know if I'm nervous about all of this, or maybe a bit excited. Somehow this will all work out.

Other than that, we were required to read John Cage's Silence this week for Po-Mo. It is an interesting book, celebrating the fact that language has a music all to its own. I think that this book will be the inspiration for my next paper's creative portion.

It is a rare feat when a Professor allows one to do something creative, and I hope this piece will demonstrate to Bruce that I have some creative writing ability. Anyhow, much is left to be said on this subject. Also, I got a B+ on my last paper, which actually surprised me, considering I didn't work as hard on it as I should have, and I expected a poor mark. I guess my paper had that certain je ne sais quoi about it.

I will post more over this weekend about all this...stay tuned.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Pentacle Power

Well, I've gone and done it now. I've finally delved into and conquered The Da Vinci Code. I have my mixed feelings about the book, it took me about 4 hours to complete it (boy, am I out of my literary shape!). I have to say, I understand the cultish following around the book, Dan Brown has created a Hollywood-esque masterpiece. It thoroughly reminds me of a Harlequin Romance, very predictable, and an easy enough story line to follow along with.

I can honestly say now, after reading it, that it has the same draw that the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew books had for me as a young girl. A typical quest pattern, and how appropos that we are hunting the legendary Grail? You can't get too much more hokey than that. Dan Brown creatively employs many familiar literary feats, borrowing from the greats: Christie and Conan Doyle came to mind right away. Don't think that I didn't enjoy this novel, I was engrossed by the story. However, I found it a little childish and sloppy at points, things seemingly solved without much work at all. It is as if the book runs out of steam towards the end, because the initial story is heavily intricate, while the latter portion is sadly lacking. Oh well, this was a fun read, time to get down to more serious study: preparing for my Founders of Christianity quiz on the Gospels for Friday.

On another note, I am becoming a model, at least of sorts. We're having our annual multicultural festivities at York next week, and I volunteered to be a model. Apparently, the members of my club are happy to hear that, and I will be seen next week on the pseudo-catwalk. I will post more details as they become available. Anyhow, off to the reading!